Baseball Gaffes

[These are from a book which I received as a Christmas gift.]

"Winfield goes back to the wall. He hits his head on the wall, and it rolls off! It's rolling all the way back to second base! This is a terrible thing for the Padres!"
--San Diego Padres play by play announcer Jerry Coleman

"We'll do all right if we can capitalize on our mistakes."
--New York Yankees outfielder Mickey Rivers

"Mike Andrews' limitations are limitless."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager Danny Ozark

"I found a delivery in my flaw."
--Kansas City Royals reliever Dan Quisenberry

"The Mets just had their first .500 or better April since July of 1992."
--New York Mets broadcaster Ralph Kiner

"Don't know. They were wearing a bag over their head."
--Yogi Berra, when asked if a "streaker" was male or female

"Scott Bullett, as he takes left field, is getting congratulations from everybody. He and his daughter are parents now of a new baby."
--Chicago Cubs broadcaster Harry Caray

"I want to thank all my players for giving me the honor of being what I was."
--Casey Stengel, manager, New York Yankees and New York Mets

"Rich Folkers is throwing up in the bullpen."
--San Diego Padres broadcaster Jerry Coleman

"The Mets have gotten their leadoff batter on base only once this inning."
--New York Mets broadcaster Ralph Kiner

"I watch a lot of baseball on radio."
--Former U. S. president Gerald R. Ford

"I don't know. I'm not in shape yet."
--Yogi Berra, when asked about his cap size

"All the lies about him are true."
--Joe Dugan, on his former teammate Babe Ruth

"Now there's three things you can do in a baseball game: you can win or you can lose or it can rain."
--Casey Stengel

"My goals are to hit .300, score 100 runs, and stay injury prone."
--New York Yankee outfielder Mickey Rivers

[Jack Kreismer, publisher, The Bathroom Baseball Book (Saddle River, NJ: Red-Letter Press, Inc., 2003), pp. 41-42.]