Memorable Quotations

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
-- Winston Churchill

“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
-- Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
-- William Faulkner… about Ernest Hemingway

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
-- Groucho Marx

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
-- Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
-- Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play: bring a friend... if you have one."
-- George Bernard Shaw… to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night: will attend second, if there is one."
-- Winston Churchill... in response

"I feel so miserable without you: it's almost like having you here."
-- Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
-- John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
-- Irvin S. Cobb

“He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."
-- Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
-- Paul Keating

"He had delusions of adequacy."
-- Walter Kerr

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
-- Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
-- Oscar Wilde

Lady Astor once remarked to Winston Churchill at a dinner party,
"Winston… if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!"
Churchill replied, "Madam… if I were your husband, I would drink it!"